another day in 1st grade

As I've mentioned before, I am a first grade teacher. Every day is full of surprises and there are many many moments that leave me rolling on the floor laughing. Only just in my head. Most of these such moments are created by the children but seem to be made for adults. And since I am usually the only adult in the classroom, the halriousity (is that a word?) of the moment gets wasted on just me. But this one is just too funny to not pass along.

I've mentioned P.J. before. He is a sweet, well-behaved, soft spoken, adorable little boy. He comes from a loving happy family. Today I am teaching a lesson from our social curriculum on feelings. We are discussing sadness, excitement, embarrassment, etc.. The children are sitting on chairs in a big circle on the floor. It is 2:40 on a Thursday. I am ready to be done with the day. P.J. raises his hand.

"I feel embarrassed when my dad shows his private parts at the bus stop."

What the &**%#?!?!?! Did I just hear that right?

Twenty-two heads (including my own) are turned towards him with a big "huh???" The room is silent. I stumble over my words in an attempt to move on as quickly as possible. My face is red. I am continuing the lesson and words keep coming out of my mouth but I have no idea what I am even saying.

I need to talk to the school psychologist ASAP. What kind of sicko is this man?!?!?!? I thought he was such a normal, nice guy. How did I not pick up on this yet? Is P.J. safe in his home? Do I need to report this?

Before I have this man arrested, I decide to pull P.J. aside after the lesson and ask him to tell me more about it. I ask which kids are at his bus stop and he tells me it's just he and his sister.

Phew. At least his dad's not whipping it out for the whole neighborhood to see!

And then P.J., with his head hung low and his sweet little voice clear as day, says this:

"Ya, It's really embarrassing when he shows us his belly button."

I try desperately to suck back the enormous roar of laughter begging to explode from inside my head and wish there were a room full of adults to share this moment with. I explain to him that "private parts" are the parts covered by a bathing suit and that, yes, it must be very embarrassing when your dad gets silly like that.

It's days like this that I love love love my job.