trying again

Back at the beginning of this cycle, my husband and I debate whether or not I should chart again. I charted with my first pregnancy and it worked. We got pregnant right away. I know charting again will give us our best chances, but I dread the thought of it. I know it will bring me much anxiety and force a kind of patience on me that, frankly, I don't think I'm designed for.

When I tell people I'm a 1st grade teacher, they tell me I must have the patience of a saint. Do I? I can accomplish the painstaking task of teaching a struggling child how to read. I can manage of group of 22 loud, excited, wild six-year-olds. I can deal with a classroom full of broken-strapped snowpants, wet boots, lost mittens, gluey projects and sticky snacks. I can even handle the occasional tantrum, the inevitable class nose-picker and the annual spontaneous barfing. And yes, I know these things do require great patience.

But...I don't like waiting. And with charting, there is always something to wait for. Waiting for ovulation. Waiting for my temperature to rise. Waiting for my alarm to go off so I can take my temperature again. Waiting for the days to pass. Waiting to test. Waiting for that 2nd line. Have I mentioned I hate waiting?

But my husband and I, with our goal in focus, decide to go for it. I chart. And now here I am, nearing the end of the big dreaded wait. I am on day 27 of my cycle and I have a few more days before I can test. I am filled with nerves, worry and anxiety. And hope. I am also all-consumed by my current phantom symptoms.

1. Extremem exhaustion
Last night I fall asleep on the couch before 10:00 -- in the middle of an episode of The Office!!! (which, by the way, is my new favorite show!)

2. Heightened sense of smell
This morning I have to take out the trash and even put the whole garbage can out on the screen porch to air out because it smells so horribly bad!!!

3. Frequent Urination
Ummm, yeah! This is one I can actually track. I drink the same amount of water at work every day and I take my pee breaks at exactly the same time. (I am such a creature of habit!) Yesterday I cannot finish my water and I bring my kids to lunch 5 minutes early because I am going to BURST if I don't get to the bathroom!

4. Sore breasts
If I sqeeze them hard enough, I think they are! Does that count?

And I am stalking my chart. Maybe if I keep looking at it, I can will myself to be pregnant. Or maybe something will eventually pop right out of the chart screaming, "Congratulations! You're pregnant!!!!"

Here it is, just in case you're interested in joining me with the stalking. I'll keep you posted!

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1bbc37