The baby is measuring right on target. It has a heart rate of 126bpm. My anxiety quickly turns to relief and then to pure happiness as I see the numbers on the screen. I am so grateful I've done my homework. I've studied the subject to ad nauseam (as any OCD pregnant woman would) so I know what numbers to look for and I know these are good ones. My knowledge is my power. And today I am strong.
After the high of my appointment wears off, the anxiety settles back in a bit. We still have a long road ahead of us before we are in the clear. (Are we ever really in the clear?) I am already getting nervous for our next appointment.
So instead of trying to force myself to remain calm, I decide to give myself permission to worry. But here's the deal. I only get 15 minutes of worry time each day. If I find myself worrying before my alloted time, I have to just save it. And once my 15 minutes are up, I am done.
I am also giving myself permission to enjoy this pregnancy -- every nauseous minute of it. I am giving myself permission to feel joy without being a prisoner to my worry.
I know it might not look like much but meet my new love.
2 comments:
Congrats! That is so exciting! Lots of sticky growing dust comming your way and hopefully the first tri will be non-eventful. Enjoying your pregnancy sounds like a great idea.
Your new love is beautiful! Here's to an uneventful pregnancy!
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