still growing

25+ weeks

I know I've been slacking about writing lately. I am finishing up the school year, and unfortunately writing report cards has taken over. And we are in the middle of a heat wave. Today's high is 99, which is more like 110 in my classroom, which is more like 115 when you're pregnant. I can barely move, never mind type. I guess this is a good test of what lies ahead for me this summer. Oh boy...

There's another reason I haven't written. My sister-in-law is having some complications with her pregnancy. I won't get into it here because this is my blog, not hers, and I'm sure she wouldn't appreciate me sharing her personal news with the world. But I'll tell you this. It doesn't sound great. I'm scared for her. Scared for my brother. And scared for my tiny little niece or nephew whom I haven't yet met. 

I hate hearing scary pregnancy stories. I always feel for the woman. And I always feel for her husband too. Because I know what it's like to get bad news. And I know what it's like to live in limbo. And I wouldn't wish that upon anyone. 

But it's different when it's your own family. Your own blood. The same brother I've known my whole life. The same sister-in-law that listened to my hysteria on that fateful day when I couldn't reach my husband. The same sister-in-law who came over after my d&c and brought me soup and sat with me all day when I was all alone.

That tiny little baby inside of her has a place in my heart already. I already have big dreams for it. It is my baby's cousin. And I already love it.

I would do anything to make this alright for them. But the only thing I really can do is pray. So I do.

And that's really all I have to say for now.