Wednesday, April 9, 2008

frequent pit stops?

17 weeks

I decided to count today my number of trips to the bathroom during my work day. Seven. That's right -- seven! This isn't an easy feat when you have a class of first graders at your hands. Not to mention that the one adult bathroom in my school is on the complete opposite side of the building. At least I'm getting some exercise though.

And each time I hit the bathroom, I, of course, spend some thorough time scrubbing the kid germs off my hands with lots of soap. And during this little routine, I find myself mesmerized by the image looking back at me in the mirror.

I'm really not that vain. Seriously. It's not even that I'm looking at myself really. My eyes are completely fixated on the belly. First I look straight on and then I turn and catch the profile. It's just that I can't believe that I am actually pregnant. Still. It seems so unreal.

I am standing here by myself, yet right there in the mirror there are two of me. There is me. And then there is the tiny version of me, living inside that bulge of my belly. A tiny version of my husband. I am actually carrying a version of my husband inside of me. It's more miracle than I ever really stopped to comprehend.

Yet the true miracle is that inside that growing bump is a person separate from either one of us. It is a person all on its own. It has parts of me and parts of my husband but it has a heart that beats separate from ours. A whole new person. A person with the potential to be anyone. It's more miracle than I can fully take in and it catches me by wondrous surprise every time sneak a glimpse.

So now you know why I really make so many visits to the bathroom.

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