my mother-in-law

You've all heard the stories of the crazy mother-in-law -- the one who competes for your husband's attention, inserts her opinion when none is asked for, criticizes your every move and makes your life generally miserable. This is not one of those stories. My husband's mother has done none of these things and I am not here to complain. Instead, what I'd really like to do is thank her.

The day after my d&c, my husband had to leave for business for four days. My mother-in-law called me every single day. She sent flowers to my house. She never hesitated to ask me how I was really doing and she wasn't afraid to tell me how she doing either. A few days ago we were talking about my miscarriage and I sent her the link to this blog. In her response, she included a poem she had written for our baby. She signed it Nana. In her poem she acknowledged our grief as well as her own. She was honest. She loved our baby. And she got that it was a baby and not just a pregnancy. I'd like to thank her for that.

Mostly though, I'd like to thank her for giving life to my husband. We celebrated his 30th birthday on Saturday and I realized it was as much a celebration for her as it was for him. In giving him life, she's given him all of its lessons as well. She's taught him to respect and appreciate. She's raised him to be open and honest and to not be afraid to display affection. She encourages him, even today, to keep working hard for what he wants. She's shown him how to find joy in life, how to love and how to be loved.

My mother-in-law is deeply in love with her husband. I know this just by watching them -- the way they look at each other and really listen to one another. They have "date day" every single week. They eat a special breakfast every Sunday. They dream together. They hold hands. They smile and laugh -- a lot.

This is the way my husband has learned to love me. And for that, I thank her too.

There is some cliche I can't remember right now. It's something to the effect of "men choose wives who end up just like their mothers." If this turns out to be true, it would be my greatest honor.